We wanted to create a special place for friends and family of Daniel to be able to express their memories, stories and love.
38 entries.
Megan, written November 2019
A year ago today, we lost you. You were my husband’s best friend and within minutes of knowing you, you were mine as well. You were like no one I had ever met before. Brilliant, warm, and funny. You were the one I would call to chat about politics, my shows, good food, and Dan. Our kids adored you. Thank you for being part of our lives. We miss you every single day, Uncle Pumpkin Daniel Kauffman
A year ago today, we lost you. You were my husband’s best friend and within minutes of knowing you, you were mine as well. You were like no one I had ever met before. Brilliant, warm, and funny. You were the one I would call to chat about politics, my shows, good food, and Dan. Our kids adored you. Thank you for being part of our lives. We miss you every single day, Uncle Pumpkin Daniel Kauffman
Friend Beyond Ocean
We have not met each other personally but I consider him as my friend because he helped me a lot.
I will tell you the story of our friendship...
I am a software engineer.
About 4 years ago I worked on a project for about 5 months to sell it on an online market but it was rejected with the reason of bad design quality. I modified the product and resubmitted it but it was rejected again. Then I gave up (because I did not have time for it anymore) and I made my product publicly available. After 1 year Daniel contacted me and told me that he liked my product a lot because of its design quality and wanted to use it in a project. He offered me to work on my product and to integrate it in his project.
He appreciated my work and made me feel that I had created something valuable…
We started working together. I was on a part time job (because I was also working on a full-time job in a local company) and he supported me a lot. We had weekly video calls for discussions about the project. During this period of time I understood that he was really honest and friendly person.
During our talk, he mentioned his mother and other family members several times and his
words always came from the deep of his heart and were full of love.
He was doing a great job, helping children with disabilities. We were doing a great job because he made me a part of this job. He helped me to overcome the hard period of my life with working on this interesting job. He helped me to earn some livelihood money which was the first and the most important deposit for my first apartment. I had been living with rent for about 10 years and finally with the help of Daniel our family has our own apartment.
I was talking to my wife how good person he was. We are and always will be grateful to him. We have only good memories about him and his personality.
He made a christmas gift for me which made me surprised and happy. I did not expect that from a man who hired me. It was proof for me that Daniel did not consider me as just the employee. he considered me as a friend. His trust and respect as a professional was deep and I did my best not to make him frustrated.
Time passed and I became an owner of a company. We still continued working together and Daniel was always interested in the success and achievements of me and my company. I was feeling that his interest was honest and he was truly glad about my personal success. Only friends can do this…
Unfortunately during the last 4-5 months of his life we had not worked together because I was too busy. And I did not know anything about him.
To tell the truth, I often thought about him, wanted to send him an email and ask how he was doing, how the project was doing, how his mother and family was doing.. I was even talking to my wife about him and wanted to talk to him but… The job and the lack of time…
I would send or I am sure he would send it but…
Then I got a friend request on facebook from Daniel Kauffman which made me really happy that I would be able to talk to him....
This was not Daniel… This was his parent telling me that Daniel died.
I can not describe how I felt… That feeling is the most terrible feeling... I cried…
His parent told me the words of Daniel:
“I know how much he enjoyed working with you”
“Daniel said you were expanding your computer programming work.”
“Daniel thought you were a fabulous programmer.”
He was talking to his parents about me and about my company as I was telling my wife and parents how Daniel was helping me and how we enjoyed working together.
We were not just colleagues working on the same project. We were friends helping each other and I think Daniel help me more than I helped him.
When I told my wife about Daniel’s death, she also cried…
We both remember Daniel as one of the best person in our life. We will never forget his contribution in buying our first flat. He even could not understand how much his help meant for us. We will never forget him and his kind heart.
I will always remember him as a friend beyond the ocean who I have never met.
I am sure we would meet if he was alive…
I will miss talking to him...
I will pray for him...
We have not met each other personally but I consider him as my friend because he helped me a lot.
I will tell you the story of our friendship...
I am a software engineer.
About 4 years ago I worked on a project for about 5 months to sell it on an online market but it was rejected with the reason of bad design quality. I modified the product and resubmitted it but it was rejected again. Then I gave up (because I did not have time for it anymore) and I made my product publicly available. After 1 year Daniel contacted me and told me that he liked my product a lot because of its design quality and wanted to use it in a project. He offered me to work on my product and to integrate it in his project.
He appreciated my work and made me feel that I had created something valuable…
We started working together. I was on a part time job (because I was also working on a full-time job in a local company) and he supported me a lot. We had weekly video calls for discussions about the project. During this period of time I understood that he was really honest and friendly person.
During our talk, he mentioned his mother and other family members several times and his
words always came from the deep of his heart and were full of love.
He was doing a great job, helping children with disabilities. We were doing a great job because he made me a part of this job. He helped me to overcome the hard period of my life with working on this interesting job. He helped me to earn some livelihood money which was the first and the most important deposit for my first apartment. I had been living with rent for about 10 years and finally with the help of Daniel our family has our own apartment.
I was talking to my wife how good person he was. We are and always will be grateful to him. We have only good memories about him and his personality.
He made a christmas gift for me which made me surprised and happy. I did not expect that from a man who hired me. It was proof for me that Daniel did not consider me as just the employee. he considered me as a friend. His trust and respect as a professional was deep and I did my best not to make him frustrated.
Time passed and I became an owner of a company. We still continued working together and Daniel was always interested in the success and achievements of me and my company. I was feeling that his interest was honest and he was truly glad about my personal success. Only friends can do this…
Unfortunately during the last 4-5 months of his life we had not worked together because I was too busy. And I did not know anything about him.
To tell the truth, I often thought about him, wanted to send him an email and ask how he was doing, how the project was doing, how his mother and family was doing.. I was even talking to my wife about him and wanted to talk to him but… The job and the lack of time…
I would send or I am sure he would send it but…
Then I got a friend request on facebook from Daniel Kauffman which made me really happy that I would be able to talk to him....
This was not Daniel… This was his parent telling me that Daniel died.
I can not describe how I felt… That feeling is the most terrible feeling... I cried…
His parent told me the words of Daniel:
“I know how much he enjoyed working with you”
“Daniel said you were expanding your computer programming work.”
“Daniel thought you were a fabulous programmer.”
He was talking to his parents about me and about my company as I was telling my wife and parents how Daniel was helping me and how we enjoyed working together.
We were not just colleagues working on the same project. We were friends helping each other and I think Daniel help me more than I helped him.
When I told my wife about Daniel’s death, she also cried…
We both remember Daniel as one of the best person in our life. We will never forget his contribution in buying our first flat. He even could not understand how much his help meant for us. We will never forget him and his kind heart.
I will always remember him as a friend beyond the ocean who I have never met.
I am sure we would meet if he was alive…
I will miss talking to him...
I will pray for him...
I used to host a specialty show in the York/Harrisburg/Lancaster radio market and Dan would call me weekly as the man from U.N.C.L.E. Although I did the show on weekends, my day job was promoting PA Senate Republicans via the radio. This put Dan in a tough spot, wanting to spar with me about my politics while pleading with me to play his records. We only met once. I think it was in 2001 when I was working a polling place in Montgomery County, supporting Lita Cohen, who was running against Connie Williams. We both wound up getting into a conversation with a young girl in a short dress with hairy legs. Dan thought this was hilarious and we laughed and laughed about it later. He was funny and extremely passionate. I'm sorry he couldn't stick around longer.
I hope I don’t offend anyone but I’m going to tell the story the way it went. Daniel’s mother comes into the gym. She was looking at the board with the names of trainers and she said to me, “I think I want you to train my son. I’m going to buy sessions.” The normal procedure is you meet the person you're re going to train and then you figure out if it will work or not.
I said, ” Well why don’t you have him come in. I’ll meet him first.”
“Well, no, she said. I’m going to buy the sessions.”
I said, “Don’t buy the sessions.” “Why not?” she asked.
I said, "What if your son’s an asshole and we don’t get along? He doesn’t like me; I don’t like him. Bring him in first. After the first session Daniel comes up to me. “Okay," he said. "So was I an asshole?” “No," I said. Then he said, ”How could you say that to my old mother?"
I said, ” Well why don’t you have him come in. I’ll meet him first.”
“Well, no, she said. I’m going to buy the sessions.”
I said, “Don’t buy the sessions.” “Why not?” she asked.
I said, "What if your son’s an asshole and we don’t get along? He doesn’t like me; I don’t like him. Bring him in first. After the first session Daniel comes up to me. “Okay," he said. "So was I an asshole?” “No," I said. Then he said, ”How could you say that to my old mother?"
Dan was such an important influence on me through my teenage years. So many of my best memories are dominated by his presence. Daniel's high energy, ready schemes and always-available shoulder helped shape me and that will never leave me. Daniel was always my fill-in dance date. He was so fun. So funny. Everything was THE BEST IDEA EVER. He always had a plan. I can still hear his voice laying out his latest scheme, talking a 100 miles a minute. It was his train. We were all just riding.
The day that Daniel and Elida flew to London in August 1981 was the final day of England v West Indies at the Oval cricket ground. I got two tickets in hope that Daniel and I could get there before the end of the play. We did – just – and saw England win after many years of domination.
Maureen to Elida
I remember how impressed I was when Daniel built that computerhat didn’t look at all like bits of a computer and it actually worked. I always wondered how he knew the things he knew. It seemed kind of uncanny. Daniel had so much energy. I remember when he would be holding drumsticks all the time and they would be constantly in motion, you could feel the rhythm in his head. I remember when we all went to the new Barnes Museum together. You dropped us off and went off to find a parking space, which was clearly not going to be easy. Daniel couldn't relax or settle until you arrived from parking the car: he was super-alert to where you were, what might be happening, thinking about how far you would have to walk, worrying about whether you were okay. Then when you arrived he changed completely: he was at ease and happy. He was always thoughtful and protective that way, even when he was much younger.
I remember how impressed I was when Daniel built that computerhat didn’t look at all like bits of a computer and it actually worked. I always wondered how he knew the things he knew. It seemed kind of uncanny. Daniel had so much energy. I remember when he would be holding drumsticks all the time and they would be constantly in motion, you could feel the rhythm in his head. I remember when we all went to the new Barnes Museum together. You dropped us off and went off to find a parking space, which was clearly not going to be easy. Daniel couldn't relax or settle until you arrived from parking the car: he was super-alert to where you were, what might be happening, thinking about how far you would have to walk, worrying about whether you were okay. Then when you arrived he changed completely: he was at ease and happy. He was always thoughtful and protective that way, even when he was much younger.
Five and a half years ago I put out a request to everyone in the computer department at Temple. I said I was trying to build technology to help students with autism. I said I was looking for someone to help me. Two people showed up. One was a graduate of computer information science. The other was Dan Kauffman. Dan had just come from two years of community college and hadn’t had any formal course work. The other guy was top of his class. I told Dan I really had to go with this other guy. Dan said, “Let me do it for nothing.” Dan helped me out that summer and by the end of the summer I said this other guy can’t do it; Dan can. Dan began an independent study with me and then an internship. I immediately liked Dan and then I loved him. I got some additional funding and the first person I wanted to work with me was Dan. He was self-taught. He didn’t really learn it from Temple. He was so passionate. He could lose himself while working on this project to help kids. After he graduated, we hired him as a senior software engineer. Daniel wanted to be the best, he wanted to help these kids and he was an important part of our lives.
I accidentally found myself in charge of an advocacy organization for the whole state. It was still an Obama organization but without any money and without any staff. Then Jed sent Dan my way. For two years every morning I would talk to Dan. Dan would find miraculous ways to pull all our work together and give me reports. It was more than Pennsylvania. Whatever I needed, Dan was always there. He was funny and warm and what I came to see about Dan was that he was always looking for the next way that he was going to use his gifts to help someone else. He was really intentional. He would start six months out trying to figure out where he was going to put his time, energy and love to help parts of the state he didn’t know. I learned a lot from him. I’m really grateful to have known him.
One of my favorite memories of Daniel is my last memory of him. We had a blast dancing at Sarah and Nick’s wedding. We danced, we sang, we had a wonderful time celebrating. When I feel sad and miss him, I remember that. When one of the songs to which we danced comes on the radio, I think of Daniel and I cry and I smile, too.
Growing up with Daniel we were very close in age so holidays and family gatherings we'd see each other. I have these memories of his energy and boisterous personality, singing with him at Passover we'd both be banging on the table to the songs which was apparently something our grandfathers did, but it came to him just naturally, always making jokes that had everyone laughing at the table. That was out childhood together. Then in the past few years my mom got sick and I saw a sign of Daniel I hadn't known was there, his enormous empathy and generosity. It would be easy to say that's a person of the other generation, they get sick, that's what happens but Daniel wanted to do anything he possibly could to help.
I have so many memories of Dan that I am having a lot of difficulty placing them in any sort of logical order. So, I am going to focus on the most profound. However, nothing I could write about Dan could ever fully encapsulate the relationship that formed over hours, days, weeks, and months during the most formative years of our lives. Anyone reading this needs to know that our relationship, which was as close as any two brothers, was forged in the fires of the day-to-day; the hour we spent
together just speaking our minds and making fun of each other. In high school, my priorities were clearly flawed. As a result, I found myself RE-taking freshman English class during my senior year. So, in order to graduate high school, I found myself in a situation where I had to debate the title of The Greatest American Author. As chance would have it, I was assigned Jack London. Truth be told, to this very day I have never read a single word from a Jack London book. Now, this was a partner project and I was a senior in a freshman class with an odd number of students. So, I was given special permission to pick my partner from outside the class. Since I knew that I had to win this debate in order to graduate, I knew that I had to find the most brilliant partner around. I chose Dan. Keep in mind that Dan had no obligation to participate in this debate. He had already passed this class with flying colors 3 years ago. His only motivation was his desire to help me; his friend. I vividly remember the hours that Dan and I spent scanning through Cliff’s Notes on White Fang and Call of the Wild formulating our debate strategy. But I remember even more clearly the face of the opposing debate teams, one by one, as Jack London was declared the ultimate victor. I can honestly say that, given the totality of the circumstances, I would not be where I am today if it were not for Dan. As time moved on, Dan and I went to different colleges in different states. Although we’d reunite between semesters, time and circumstances definitely took their toll on our friendship. In the end, Dan met a girl that he completely fell in love with. He wanted to introduce her to his High School friends by having a party that he asked me to organize. The girl was from Boston so Dan asked for simple things to make her feel welcomed…. Could we wear red socks? Could I put out Boston Cream Donuts? Selfishly, I shirked all his requests and told all our friends to meet at a local bar. Dan and his girlfriend arrived about an hour late and I was livid. When I said something, Dan said that they were trying to be fashionably late. This turned into an argument which was ultimately the last words that I ever said to Dan. We came together one more time, a few years later, to celebrate a major life event for another friend. But my stubbornness/selfishness prevented any real interaction between us. As the years passed, so many other things took priority in my mind. But, when Dan died, I was tragically reminded of how important priorities are and how foolish my stubbornness really is. Most of my memories of Dan revolve around his disposition of helping his friends whenever they needed him. No matter how dire or trivial the circumstances, you could always count on Dan to be there when you needed him. I try to communicate these things whenever my daughters tell me about fights with their friends, but I find myself feeling like a fake or a hypocrite. I wish I could have been a better friend. I wish I could have made as much of a difference in your life as you’ve made in mine. I’m sorry Dan. Random memories: 1.Dan once introduced me to a beautiful girl named Devyn that lived a solid 90 minutes from our neighborhood. As geography would dictate, my relationship with
Devyn was doomed. But I made one last effort to salvage the romance in a trip to her house. Dan volunteered to drive both ways. My 19-year-old logic surmised that bringing a bottle of vodka was the best play on this trip, but as chance would have it, Devyn and I never drank a drop. So, when Dan, Nick, and Sandler came to pick me up, I had an entire bottle of vodka stowed in my duffle bag. Now, I don’t remember why, but Nick and Sandler both knew about this bottle. Dan did not. So, when we were pulled over by a team of ambitious NJ state troopers that wanted to search Dan’s Volvo, he was more than willing to grant consent. Meanwhile, Nick, Sandler, and I were shitting a brick. In addition, Dan’s ignorance of the vodka led him to behave in a particular self-righteous way that was clearly annoying the police. To this day, I don’t know why the police overlooked the bottle of vodka in a car full of teenagers. Maybe they were looking for something else… maybe we just got lucky. But one of the best laughs that I’ve ever had was seeing Dan’s reaction, as we crossed the Walt Whitman Bridge and I told him that there was a bottle of booze in the car the entire time. 2. When we were 18, Dan and I used to drive into Philadelphia to stand outside of The Cave (male strip club) to meet women who were coming out. I’m not going to add any specifics to this story, but whether or not it proved successful, we always had fun. 3. Dan and I(with assistance from others who I won’t incriminate) once changed the letters on numerous marquis-type signs across Lower Merion Township. To this day, I get a hard belly laugh when I talk to people who tell me about the day they drove past the Narberth Movie theater and saw that they were featuring “Big Round Tits”, or when Temple Adath Israel announced ‘Come See Our Butts”. 4.There is no single story that I could tell that could describe the friendship that is forged in the simple everyday interactions of a few teenage guys. Dan and I had a relationship that was as close as any brother could ever hope for. In what seemed like just another day, we shared our deepest hopes, fears, and some of the best laughs a couple of guys could ever hope for.
together just speaking our minds and making fun of each other. In high school, my priorities were clearly flawed. As a result, I found myself RE-taking freshman English class during my senior year. So, in order to graduate high school, I found myself in a situation where I had to debate the title of The Greatest American Author. As chance would have it, I was assigned Jack London. Truth be told, to this very day I have never read a single word from a Jack London book. Now, this was a partner project and I was a senior in a freshman class with an odd number of students. So, I was given special permission to pick my partner from outside the class. Since I knew that I had to win this debate in order to graduate, I knew that I had to find the most brilliant partner around. I chose Dan. Keep in mind that Dan had no obligation to participate in this debate. He had already passed this class with flying colors 3 years ago. His only motivation was his desire to help me; his friend. I vividly remember the hours that Dan and I spent scanning through Cliff’s Notes on White Fang and Call of the Wild formulating our debate strategy. But I remember even more clearly the face of the opposing debate teams, one by one, as Jack London was declared the ultimate victor. I can honestly say that, given the totality of the circumstances, I would not be where I am today if it were not for Dan. As time moved on, Dan and I went to different colleges in different states. Although we’d reunite between semesters, time and circumstances definitely took their toll on our friendship. In the end, Dan met a girl that he completely fell in love with. He wanted to introduce her to his High School friends by having a party that he asked me to organize. The girl was from Boston so Dan asked for simple things to make her feel welcomed…. Could we wear red socks? Could I put out Boston Cream Donuts? Selfishly, I shirked all his requests and told all our friends to meet at a local bar. Dan and his girlfriend arrived about an hour late and I was livid. When I said something, Dan said that they were trying to be fashionably late. This turned into an argument which was ultimately the last words that I ever said to Dan. We came together one more time, a few years later, to celebrate a major life event for another friend. But my stubbornness/selfishness prevented any real interaction between us. As the years passed, so many other things took priority in my mind. But, when Dan died, I was tragically reminded of how important priorities are and how foolish my stubbornness really is. Most of my memories of Dan revolve around his disposition of helping his friends whenever they needed him. No matter how dire or trivial the circumstances, you could always count on Dan to be there when you needed him. I try to communicate these things whenever my daughters tell me about fights with their friends, but I find myself feeling like a fake or a hypocrite. I wish I could have been a better friend. I wish I could have made as much of a difference in your life as you’ve made in mine. I’m sorry Dan. Random memories: 1.Dan once introduced me to a beautiful girl named Devyn that lived a solid 90 minutes from our neighborhood. As geography would dictate, my relationship with
Devyn was doomed. But I made one last effort to salvage the romance in a trip to her house. Dan volunteered to drive both ways. My 19-year-old logic surmised that bringing a bottle of vodka was the best play on this trip, but as chance would have it, Devyn and I never drank a drop. So, when Dan, Nick, and Sandler came to pick me up, I had an entire bottle of vodka stowed in my duffle bag. Now, I don’t remember why, but Nick and Sandler both knew about this bottle. Dan did not. So, when we were pulled over by a team of ambitious NJ state troopers that wanted to search Dan’s Volvo, he was more than willing to grant consent. Meanwhile, Nick, Sandler, and I were shitting a brick. In addition, Dan’s ignorance of the vodka led him to behave in a particular self-righteous way that was clearly annoying the police. To this day, I don’t know why the police overlooked the bottle of vodka in a car full of teenagers. Maybe they were looking for something else… maybe we just got lucky. But one of the best laughs that I’ve ever had was seeing Dan’s reaction, as we crossed the Walt Whitman Bridge and I told him that there was a bottle of booze in the car the entire time. 2. When we were 18, Dan and I used to drive into Philadelphia to stand outside of The Cave (male strip club) to meet women who were coming out. I’m not going to add any specifics to this story, but whether or not it proved successful, we always had fun. 3. Dan and I(with assistance from others who I won’t incriminate) once changed the letters on numerous marquis-type signs across Lower Merion Township. To this day, I get a hard belly laugh when I talk to people who tell me about the day they drove past the Narberth Movie theater and saw that they were featuring “Big Round Tits”, or when Temple Adath Israel announced ‘Come See Our Butts”. 4.There is no single story that I could tell that could describe the friendship that is forged in the simple everyday interactions of a few teenage guys. Dan and I had a relationship that was as close as any brother could ever hope for. In what seemed like just another day, we shared our deepest hopes, fears, and some of the best laughs a couple of guys could ever hope for.
Nicholas
One of the most difficult things to do is to summate years of experiences that you share with a friend into a few paragraphs. However, I will try to capture some essential memories that I think are reflective of the times I spent with Daniel Kauffman. My first recollection of Dan was meeting him in the10th grade at Lower Merion High School. I remember being introduced to this energetic thoughtful person with an affable smile who was excited to connect with others. The first thing I noticed, was that Dan had his own unique fashion sense: he had on a black T-shirt with some kind of animal print on it and bright blue “MC Hammer” pants with a large set of keys attached at his waist so every time he walked, he would make a jingling sound. I found that to be incredibly charming. I’d never seen anyone in our high school quite like Dan. Secondly, Dan was very enthusiastic to introduce himself and I thought I’d found a kindred spirit once he started talking about his love for technology, science fiction, especially Star Trek and all things esoteric. I was struck by the sense of meeting someone who was really authentic and comfortable with his vision of himself at that age which is very unusual in high school. At that phase most teenagers are trying to conform but Dan didn’t seem interested in rank conformity; I was fascinated by that spirit. Over the next several weeks and months, since we’d met, I gained a deeper insight into Dan. He seemed sincerely curious about my thoughts and ideas- and he was equally enthusiastic in sharing his thoughts and ideas. I was absorbed with his ability to engage with the substance of a person and not merely their outward presentation. By this I mean, Dan took time to listen to others and ask a million questions in his inimitable way, always trying to draw out shared experiences with a friend or a stranger and find common ground often coupled with a parting joke. It was also in those days I discovered Dan had a unique talent for drinking large amounts of Diet Coke which only added to his distinctive personality. It’s funny how now when I see the Coke logo, I can’t help but be reminded of Dan.
Nonetheless, I think where we bonded the most was on various road trips that we took which required hours of us being together discussing anything and everything. It was in those moments that I really gained an appreciation for how intensely intellectual and intensely thoughtful Dan was. We would debate everything from: who was the prettiest girl in high school, to computer technology, to astrophysics and metaphysics, to why G.I. Joe was a better cartoon than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Dan always had a deep hunger to find out the underlying truth to everything; it was his wide-ranging curiosity that I found compelling. Over many hours and many miles of countless unfamiliar roads, we would break down concepts to their most irreducibly complex state in order to gain fundamental insights into why the world is the way it is. In those private moments he would also share his hopes and his dreams, and his fears about what life would be like once we became adults with the burdens and responsibilities that were just around the corner. One thing remained constant though, despite the uncertainties of tomorrow, Dan was always optimistic about the life he could create for himself. Dan would share his dreams of future success, finding love, starting a family, pursuing happiness, and responding to the injustices in humanity. Dan was conscious of the inequities of our society and it deeply bothered him that the world rewarded some of humankind’s worst instincts; he felt somehow in some small way, he could change that inequality. He would sometimes ask if his dreams were real and practical and while I would confess that there was no way to predict the future, I reassured him that his ideas were rooted in reality and he deserved every good thing that life had to offer. Then we would smile and move onto another topic; something silly or something ridiculous would usually come up.
As I look back, I have warm memories of those days and my hope in sharing this small tribute, is that I am able to connect with Dan’s friends and all those who loved him, so that we can put our impressions of Dan together, and create a mosaic or at least as close as we can get to a representation of the fullness of his being; and leave a measure of the project of Dan Kauffman’s life for posterity to admire.
One of the most difficult things to do is to summate years of experiences that you share with a friend into a few paragraphs. However, I will try to capture some essential memories that I think are reflective of the times I spent with Daniel Kauffman. My first recollection of Dan was meeting him in the10th grade at Lower Merion High School. I remember being introduced to this energetic thoughtful person with an affable smile who was excited to connect with others. The first thing I noticed, was that Dan had his own unique fashion sense: he had on a black T-shirt with some kind of animal print on it and bright blue “MC Hammer” pants with a large set of keys attached at his waist so every time he walked, he would make a jingling sound. I found that to be incredibly charming. I’d never seen anyone in our high school quite like Dan. Secondly, Dan was very enthusiastic to introduce himself and I thought I’d found a kindred spirit once he started talking about his love for technology, science fiction, especially Star Trek and all things esoteric. I was struck by the sense of meeting someone who was really authentic and comfortable with his vision of himself at that age which is very unusual in high school. At that phase most teenagers are trying to conform but Dan didn’t seem interested in rank conformity; I was fascinated by that spirit. Over the next several weeks and months, since we’d met, I gained a deeper insight into Dan. He seemed sincerely curious about my thoughts and ideas- and he was equally enthusiastic in sharing his thoughts and ideas. I was absorbed with his ability to engage with the substance of a person and not merely their outward presentation. By this I mean, Dan took time to listen to others and ask a million questions in his inimitable way, always trying to draw out shared experiences with a friend or a stranger and find common ground often coupled with a parting joke. It was also in those days I discovered Dan had a unique talent for drinking large amounts of Diet Coke which only added to his distinctive personality. It’s funny how now when I see the Coke logo, I can’t help but be reminded of Dan.
Nonetheless, I think where we bonded the most was on various road trips that we took which required hours of us being together discussing anything and everything. It was in those moments that I really gained an appreciation for how intensely intellectual and intensely thoughtful Dan was. We would debate everything from: who was the prettiest girl in high school, to computer technology, to astrophysics and metaphysics, to why G.I. Joe was a better cartoon than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Dan always had a deep hunger to find out the underlying truth to everything; it was his wide-ranging curiosity that I found compelling. Over many hours and many miles of countless unfamiliar roads, we would break down concepts to their most irreducibly complex state in order to gain fundamental insights into why the world is the way it is. In those private moments he would also share his hopes and his dreams, and his fears about what life would be like once we became adults with the burdens and responsibilities that were just around the corner. One thing remained constant though, despite the uncertainties of tomorrow, Dan was always optimistic about the life he could create for himself. Dan would share his dreams of future success, finding love, starting a family, pursuing happiness, and responding to the injustices in humanity. Dan was conscious of the inequities of our society and it deeply bothered him that the world rewarded some of humankind’s worst instincts; he felt somehow in some small way, he could change that inequality. He would sometimes ask if his dreams were real and practical and while I would confess that there was no way to predict the future, I reassured him that his ideas were rooted in reality and he deserved every good thing that life had to offer. Then we would smile and move onto another topic; something silly or something ridiculous would usually come up.
As I look back, I have warm memories of those days and my hope in sharing this small tribute, is that I am able to connect with Dan’s friends and all those who loved him, so that we can put our impressions of Dan together, and create a mosaic or at least as close as we can get to a representation of the fullness of his being; and leave a measure of the project of Dan Kauffman’s life for posterity to admire.
I was driving past Delco today for work. It reminded me of the time we went down to Newman college to Mac this chick and her roommate. Think Stacy or Stephanie was her name. Anyway I explained to Dan that I need him to be a wing man. Turns out I was the wing man and Dan hooked up with the Stacy/Stephanie chick. I should have been salty but rules are rules you Mac the chick that likes you so I was the wing man. LoL
My cousin Daniel was in the same high school class as Kobe, at the same high school my dad went to. I know nothing about basketball, but I do know that Kobe brought students into my classroom at UCLA because he spoke Italian, and I’m grateful for that. Angelenos, and especially our students, were inspired by him.
Daniel passed away at the end of 2018. I struggle to post personal things, but Kobe’s death has made me reflect on Daniel, who also lived in L.A. for a time. Though as kids it felt like he was a lot older, and a lot cooler (he went to high school with Kobe!) than I was, he always had a kind word or funny joke for me. Our family gatherings have always been full of laughter because of his sense of humor. In his bar mitzvah video, he’s behind the camera, brazenly requesting that each person wish him a happy bar mitzvah. My brother, age 7 and (in imitation of his older cousin) a total ham for the camera, willingly complies. I, age 3 and painfully shy, must have assumed that his response sufficed for the both of us, so I say nothing. Instead of moving on to the next person, Daniel encourages me, saying, “You too, Sarah, you too!” He made sure I knew he saw me. Though the result was nevertheless a blank stare, this interaction is emblematic of how Daniel ensured that no one, no matter how small, disappeared into the background. I learned a lot about him at his memorial: he was a political activist, involved with his community, and he helped many people who felt excluded to feel more included. He never really mentioned any of these efforts when I saw him, so I had no idea the numbers of people from all different walks of life whom he had lifted up until I saw person after person get up to speak at his service. He’s a great example of how you do not have to be a celebrity like Kobe to enact change.
One of my regrets is that I do not have a picture with Daniel at my wedding, which was a few months before he died. The photographers did, however, unwittingly capture a sweet moment between Daniel and Zora, one of the newest members of my family, in the stroller on the righthand side of this photo. In typical fashion, in a crowd of mostly big people, he was giving his attention to the little one.
R.I.P. to both of these inspiring Angeleno-Philadelphians.
Daniel passed away at the end of 2018. I struggle to post personal things, but Kobe’s death has made me reflect on Daniel, who also lived in L.A. for a time. Though as kids it felt like he was a lot older, and a lot cooler (he went to high school with Kobe!) than I was, he always had a kind word or funny joke for me. Our family gatherings have always been full of laughter because of his sense of humor. In his bar mitzvah video, he’s behind the camera, brazenly requesting that each person wish him a happy bar mitzvah. My brother, age 7 and (in imitation of his older cousin) a total ham for the camera, willingly complies. I, age 3 and painfully shy, must have assumed that his response sufficed for the both of us, so I say nothing. Instead of moving on to the next person, Daniel encourages me, saying, “You too, Sarah, you too!” He made sure I knew he saw me. Though the result was nevertheless a blank stare, this interaction is emblematic of how Daniel ensured that no one, no matter how small, disappeared into the background. I learned a lot about him at his memorial: he was a political activist, involved with his community, and he helped many people who felt excluded to feel more included. He never really mentioned any of these efforts when I saw him, so I had no idea the numbers of people from all different walks of life whom he had lifted up until I saw person after person get up to speak at his service. He’s a great example of how you do not have to be a celebrity like Kobe to enact change.
One of my regrets is that I do not have a picture with Daniel at my wedding, which was a few months before he died. The photographers did, however, unwittingly capture a sweet moment between Daniel and Zora, one of the newest members of my family, in the stroller on the righthand side of this photo. In typical fashion, in a crowd of mostly big people, he was giving his attention to the little one.
R.I.P. to both of these inspiring Angeleno-Philadelphians.
I remember when I first met Dan. He watched all the SCIFI shows I watched and was just as weird about it as I was. I also admired his desire to be able to talk to people in a natural sort of way. He didn't need the validation like many characters you'd meet in high school.
When I came to Lower Merion I wanted to have that comradely I lost from my old school traversing the lower grades together with everyone. I remember meeting Dan in the hallways at LM and again at the wrestling tryouts. He wore this ridiculous navy colored cap that was too small for his head; a personal feature we shared #hugehead #hatsalwayssmall #struggleisreal.
I met Dan Friedman during a firedrill. It seemed too convenient to me since I needed some one to train with and he appeared to work out. After about a month or so of training and hanging out I told Friedman about Kauffman. He always referred to him as the "Star Trek guy". It took a week or so of convincing but eventually I said F it and just brought him over.
It was...not the best introduction and Friedman was kinda pissed and said something along the lines of never bring that weird kid around here again. I brought him around again anyway and that was that.
When I came to Lower Merion I wanted to have that comradely I lost from my old school traversing the lower grades together with everyone. I remember meeting Dan in the hallways at LM and again at the wrestling tryouts. He wore this ridiculous navy colored cap that was too small for his head; a personal feature we shared #hugehead #hatsalwayssmall #struggleisreal.
I met Dan Friedman during a firedrill. It seemed too convenient to me since I needed some one to train with and he appeared to work out. After about a month or so of training and hanging out I told Friedman about Kauffman. He always referred to him as the "Star Trek guy". It took a week or so of convincing but eventually I said F it and just brought him over.
It was...not the best introduction and Friedman was kinda pissed and said something along the lines of never bring that weird kid around here again. I brought him around again anyway and that was that.
Daniel’s commitment to inclusion of people on the edges, Daniel’s wild and uninhibited heart and humor, Daniel’s commitment to kindness, are the themes of so many of the stories of his too-short life we are telling and remembering.
I love you, Daniel. I miss you, and I deeply wish we had so much more time with you on this plane. Thank you for your boldness.
And Webster the Dog, your cuteness and friendliness are truly uplifting and, as Daniel would say, “hopeful.”
I love you, Daniel. I miss you, and I deeply wish we had so much more time with you on this plane. Thank you for your boldness.
And Webster the Dog, your cuteness and friendliness are truly uplifting and, as Daniel would say, “hopeful.”
I didn't know Dan as well as I would have loved to but I can tell you a story of one month and the one month impact Dan had on my life. I lived in the same apartment house with Daniel for over a year but I wanted to move away because I couldn't make friends. Outside the staff that worked there it was very hard for me to actually integrate with the community.
One day I was down in the lobby working and Dan sat down next to me and said, "You're always on the computer, what're you doing?" At first I looked at him and I was like, "Somebody is talking to me." I said, "I'm building an application." We started talking.
What you don't know is I have difficulty with groups of people, my anxiety gets a little jumpy so naturally, sometimes, I like to hide away and not be around people. And Dan represented a person who said, "I'll be your light". Nights that I would stay in my place because my anxiety was really bad, Dan texted me and said, "Lets go have a beer", and he helped me in a situation where I couldn't help myself. And if you could vividly visually see, we would lay down on the sofas like best friends and just hang out and talk about nothing specific, just, "What'd you do today"? Daniel wasn't just a friend, he was a brother because he had a heart big enough to do that with me, somebody who was about to leave a place because I couldn't build relationships with any one there. He came up to me and sat down and said, "What are you doing?"
People wouldn't get on the elevator with me and I mean for one reason or another, we don't need to get into that really. I wanted to draw the definition of a "hero". It's not something that I'm going to go look up, but I'll tell you, that's Daniel, because it takes that one motion inside of a person to make one decision, and do one thing, that impacted the lives of many people and that's what he represented. One time he sat down and said, "What're you doing and for an entire month I had a support system.
One day I was down in the lobby working and Dan sat down next to me and said, "You're always on the computer, what're you doing?" At first I looked at him and I was like, "Somebody is talking to me." I said, "I'm building an application." We started talking.
What you don't know is I have difficulty with groups of people, my anxiety gets a little jumpy so naturally, sometimes, I like to hide away and not be around people. And Dan represented a person who said, "I'll be your light". Nights that I would stay in my place because my anxiety was really bad, Dan texted me and said, "Lets go have a beer", and he helped me in a situation where I couldn't help myself. And if you could vividly visually see, we would lay down on the sofas like best friends and just hang out and talk about nothing specific, just, "What'd you do today"? Daniel wasn't just a friend, he was a brother because he had a heart big enough to do that with me, somebody who was about to leave a place because I couldn't build relationships with any one there. He came up to me and sat down and said, "What are you doing?"
People wouldn't get on the elevator with me and I mean for one reason or another, we don't need to get into that really. I wanted to draw the definition of a "hero". It's not something that I'm going to go look up, but I'll tell you, that's Daniel, because it takes that one motion inside of a person to make one decision, and do one thing, that impacted the lives of many people and that's what he represented. One time he sat down and said, "What're you doing and for an entire month I had a support system.
Dan and our dog, Jackson, had a very special bond. The first time he met him, he spent the weekend with us. Jackson wouldn't leave his side. He normally slept in bed with me and Dan Friedman. This night he insisted on sleeping by Dan Kauffman's side. I said to my husband Dan that Jackson decided to sleep with Uncle Kauffman. He misheard me and thought I said Uncle Puffkin. From then on he was Uncle Puffkin and eventually the kids turned it into just Pumpkin. At first Dan HATED this nickname but eventually embraced it. He loved being an uncle to our pup and our kids. He was the best uncle in the world. When he adopted Webster, he told me he wanted to find one just like Jackson. I think he succeeded in that sweet lovable Webster.
Dan Kauffman was a terrific guy! He worked with me at Pinch Hit Records in LA back in the late 90's. He was a well liked guy by all the bands and staff at the label. He had a great zest for life and an infectious laugh. We sure had some good times!
I struggled for weeks to find the right words to type here. In high school, Dan and I were as close as brothers. Years later, time, distance, and circumstances came between us. After several varying versions of this entry, I was reminded of a story that perfectly reminded me of Dan:
"Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, 'May I ask what it is that you are doing?'
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied 'Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,' the youth replied. 'When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water'.
The old man replied, 'But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference'.
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, 'I made a difference to that one'!
"Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, 'May I ask what it is that you are doing?'
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied 'Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,' the youth replied. 'When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water'.
The old man replied, 'But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference'.
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, 'I made a difference to that one'!
I met Dan in the fall of 2018 when he hired me to help him organize his apartment. I love organizing and decluttering and had recently started a side business to help others. My first impression was of Webster jumping and I have to admit- I was a little intimidated by him at first. But then I realized that Webster was just a really friendly guy with a big heart- just like Dan.
Helping someone declutter and organize their living space means that you really get an inside view of their life. I find out what people do for work, for fun, what means a lot to them, how they live their daily routine, and what they like to surround themselves with. Throughout the several evenings I spent with Dan in his apartment, I really got to know him. Dan’s three overflowing drawers filled with treats for Webster told me that he cared deeply about that furry guy. His memorabilia from political campaigns told me that he cared about politics, and he talked often about how he wanted to get organized so he could get his extra stuff out of his mom’s house. It was clear that family and friends meant a lot to Dan. It was also clear—and this is more exceptional—that complete strangers meant a lot to him too. Dan was incredibly thoughtful. I remember I casually mentioned that I love chocolate. When I saw him the next week, he had saved all his extra Halloween chocolate just for me.
I’m generally the one giving advice and guidance about what people can keep or toss, but I had to defer to Dan when it came to his electronics. He knew so much about computers! I was awed by how smart he was and how he knew what wire went with what machine, even when it made no sense to me. I learned that he was working on ways to help people with autism function in the workplace, and I could see he became visibly animated when he told me about that work.
When I told Dan about my struggles with building a website, Dan offered to help me make one, and it wasn’t that kind of hollow promise people always make- he really meant it. Something that was especially meaningful to me was that he told me I should raise my rates. He was one of my first clients ever and to have someone tell me I’m worth more than I thought I was is something that will stay with me forever.
Dan got better and better at decluttering and organizing. He always did the “homework” I gave him and was relentlessly enthusiastic. That says a lot, because a lot of my organization strategies require a completely new mindset and way of living, which is tough for a lot of people. I completely overhauled Dan’s closet, kitchen, and laundry area and rather than resist the changes I suggested, he kept an open mind and gave it real effort. And it paid off! When he found himself slipping he’d shout “LIKE WITH LIKE!”, one of my organization mantras. It became a joke between us but hey, it works!
Dan had one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever encountered and I’m honored I had the opportunity to help him enjoy his living space. I still think of him often and wish that our time together hadn’t been cut so short.
Helping someone declutter and organize their living space means that you really get an inside view of their life. I find out what people do for work, for fun, what means a lot to them, how they live their daily routine, and what they like to surround themselves with. Throughout the several evenings I spent with Dan in his apartment, I really got to know him. Dan’s three overflowing drawers filled with treats for Webster told me that he cared deeply about that furry guy. His memorabilia from political campaigns told me that he cared about politics, and he talked often about how he wanted to get organized so he could get his extra stuff out of his mom’s house. It was clear that family and friends meant a lot to Dan. It was also clear—and this is more exceptional—that complete strangers meant a lot to him too. Dan was incredibly thoughtful. I remember I casually mentioned that I love chocolate. When I saw him the next week, he had saved all his extra Halloween chocolate just for me.
I’m generally the one giving advice and guidance about what people can keep or toss, but I had to defer to Dan when it came to his electronics. He knew so much about computers! I was awed by how smart he was and how he knew what wire went with what machine, even when it made no sense to me. I learned that he was working on ways to help people with autism function in the workplace, and I could see he became visibly animated when he told me about that work.
When I told Dan about my struggles with building a website, Dan offered to help me make one, and it wasn’t that kind of hollow promise people always make- he really meant it. Something that was especially meaningful to me was that he told me I should raise my rates. He was one of my first clients ever and to have someone tell me I’m worth more than I thought I was is something that will stay with me forever.
Dan got better and better at decluttering and organizing. He always did the “homework” I gave him and was relentlessly enthusiastic. That says a lot, because a lot of my organization strategies require a completely new mindset and way of living, which is tough for a lot of people. I completely overhauled Dan’s closet, kitchen, and laundry area and rather than resist the changes I suggested, he kept an open mind and gave it real effort. And it paid off! When he found himself slipping he’d shout “LIKE WITH LIKE!”, one of my organization mantras. It became a joke between us but hey, it works!
Dan had one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever encountered and I’m honored I had the opportunity to help him enjoy his living space. I still think of him often and wish that our time together hadn’t been cut so short.
These words were said to Daniel Jacob Kauffman on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah, April 20, 1991, at Beth Am Israel in PennValley. Upon Daniels's completion of a brilliant and beautiful chanting of his Torah and Hoftorah portions, his father, Jeffrey, with much pride and love, as a blessing and a sending forth, spoke these words to him.
I'm proud of you Daniel.
Not just for what you've done here today
But for the young man I see you becoming
I recognize, Daniel
That you will become a man
Who will earn the love and respect
Of a great many people
I remember when you first began to walk
The first time you walked you threw your
arms in the air for balance and celebration
While you ran across the room
From your mother to me.
I remember when you first ran down the
steps of 1709 Mt. Vernon Street to
a group of kids on the sidewalk, and,
Gleefully
Circled and danced around them again and again.
When you were born
I looked at you and recognized in your face
A serene bliss, and
Thought that I saw divine wisdom
In that newborn face
Before you return to that, you've had to lose it
And become a baby, then a child, and now a
young man
Daniel
on the long, difficult road of growing up
You do it well, Daniel
You have HEART
You have a heart of Courage. True courage
You have a heart of CARING
And, you have a strong sense of honor
You are playful, and witty, and irreverent
determined (stubborn) thoughtful.
resourceful, generous,
- and, FULL OF LIFE'S SPIRIT
You have gifts of great courage and
abundance of spirit
Don't tame them!
But harness them
Into a life of joyfulness and caring
In God's glory
for yourself and those who you love
MAY YOU BE A BLESSING TO OUR PEOPLE
I'm proud of you Daniel.
Not just for what you've done here today
But for the young man I see you becoming
I recognize, Daniel
That you will become a man
Who will earn the love and respect
Of a great many people
I remember when you first began to walk
The first time you walked you threw your
arms in the air for balance and celebration
While you ran across the room
From your mother to me.
I remember when you first ran down the
steps of 1709 Mt. Vernon Street to
a group of kids on the sidewalk, and,
Gleefully
Circled and danced around them again and again.
When you were born
I looked at you and recognized in your face
A serene bliss, and
Thought that I saw divine wisdom
In that newborn face
Before you return to that, you've had to lose it
And become a baby, then a child, and now a
young man
Daniel
on the long, difficult road of growing up
You do it well, Daniel
You have HEART
You have a heart of Courage. True courage
You have a heart of CARING
And, you have a strong sense of honor
You are playful, and witty, and irreverent
determined (stubborn) thoughtful.
resourceful, generous,
- and, FULL OF LIFE'S SPIRIT
You have gifts of great courage and
abundance of spirit
Don't tame them!
But harness them
Into a life of joyfulness and caring
In God's glory
for yourself and those who you love
MAY YOU BE A BLESSING TO OUR PEOPLE
I've known Dan for 25 years. It's been said that everyone loved Dan. He brought everyone in his circle joy, laughter and good times. Many of us even had the privilege of being his best friend. But first I remember Sandler was his best friend. My memories may not be 100% accurate. Sandler asked me if Dan could sit at our lunch table. And I was like "The Star Trek" guy. But Sandler convinced me he was cool. And then he had a Nick phase. And I remember a Dave phase when they were inseparable and annoyingly loud. And there was Heather. And come to think of it there was a Joey phase where he kind of started to act like him a little bit and I got kind of concerned. And I know lately he's been hanging out with Sam a lot and new friends from his gym and the apartment. Brad Brown in recent years and Shelley Loo and Geoff. I also had the honor of being his best friend. We were bros. We were guys on crazy adventures together, partners in crime, literally at times, in the distant past. Our exploits spanned four different states, Illinois, California, Florida and back to Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago he had a really successful business in Pennsylvania which he packed up and moved all the way to Florida because I told him I needed him. I had finally finished school and got a job offer down there but was scared to go alone. He didn't have to do that. He didn't even want to. But we were bros. I still live in Florida and I have a wife and three beautiful children and I wouldn't have any of what I have today if it wasn't for him. He loved my kids and my wife Megan. He talked to them almost every day. He was by far the best and most attentive uncle. They called him Uncle Pumpkin. And even when me and Dan were on each other's nerves he still always called Megan to talk to them because we weren't just bros and brothers and homies, we were family.
Written to Elida
We truly had such an amazing experience in Ljubljana that we decided to try and find more Ljubljanas. A huge part of our enjoyment was meeting you and Daniel. I've always had a challenging relationship with my own mom. I don't thing I will ever forget that moment when we were taking your picture where Daniel reached up and tousled your hair. I remember thinking, "That's what I've always wanted." The love and respect you two had for each other is something that I try and recreate in Sach's and my relationship every day. I know it probably sounds silly to say that Daniel impacts my own relationship every day but he (and you) truly do. Thank you so much for showing me what unconditional love looks like... It's like a little piece of Daniel and Elida are buried in my heart guiding me in life.
We truly had such an amazing experience in Ljubljana that we decided to try and find more Ljubljanas. A huge part of our enjoyment was meeting you and Daniel. I've always had a challenging relationship with my own mom. I don't thing I will ever forget that moment when we were taking your picture where Daniel reached up and tousled your hair. I remember thinking, "That's what I've always wanted." The love and respect you two had for each other is something that I try and recreate in Sach's and my relationship every day. I know it probably sounds silly to say that Daniel impacts my own relationship every day but he (and you) truly do. Thank you so much for showing me what unconditional love looks like... It's like a little piece of Daniel and Elida are buried in my heart guiding me in life.
I called Dan’s record label to see if they had any job openings. He said yes and called me in for an interview. I came to realize it wasn’t an actual job opening and instead he was offering me an unpaid internship. I said no. But we instantly hit it off and he invited me to drive with him and his label out to Vegas the next weekend to see 2 of their bands perform. I said yes and next thing I know I went off with these strangers and had a great weekend and Dan and I started dating. I ended up getting a real job at another record label and a boyfriend within 2 weeks of moving to LA. I was 21. Was crazy times.
"I have a client...he is new to the gym...his name is Daniel...I am pretty sure you know his mom..." This would be how I had the pleasure of meeting Daniel Kauffman. After one of his first sessions with his trainer we chatted for a few minutes, his warm demeanor and curiosity for life, radiating out of him like the sun. He asked about my life, my son, my responsibilities at the fitness center, with true interest. Each day we would chat, before and after his session, he would give me updates on his work out progress, changes he has made with his diet, and ALWAYS asked about my son by name. Sometimes our conversations went WAAAAY over my head...and he would patiently explain things in a matter where I could understand. This became our routine, and a friendship blossomed. Daniel's infectious laugh, would often brighten my day. I am so glad that I had the pleasure of having my life touched by his light. Daniel you are truly missed.
I was Dan's high school girl friend. I met Dan in our English class on the first day he started at Lower Merion. I gave him a pencil since he hadn't brought one with him and I think that was the minute we were friends.
I'm kind of glad we weren't together during the age of cell phones. As it was we were probably on the phone with each other every night for hours after we saw each other all day long.
He's always been a big part of me and who I am and he really taught me to live life as an adventure and to always be the person to push and do something different and new and out of my comfort zone. He really was an amazing person. A piece of my heart, will always be there.
I'm kind of glad we weren't together during the age of cell phones. As it was we were probably on the phone with each other every night for hours after we saw each other all day long.
He's always been a big part of me and who I am and he really taught me to live life as an adventure and to always be the person to push and do something different and new and out of my comfort zone. He really was an amazing person. A piece of my heart, will always be there.
My visit to Los Angeles:
I don’t remember specific names, but I think I remember meeting a couple of Daniel's male friends, and I remember going to a club in an expensive Volvo sports car with them and his girlfriend (I don’t remember whether the car was his or whether he was leasing it). I unfortunately forget the name of the girl he was dating at the time, but I think she was not living in the house. I can definitely confirm that there were many girl housemates (I think 7 total) and they were mostly in their early 20s. He seemed really happy and living his dream, loving life and everything he was doing.
I was interested in meeting a girl who was living in San Diego.. which didn’t end well which had me feeling somewhat depressed about it, but afterwords, Daniel was extremely supportive and upbeat, and we had a long conversation on the porch of his house which was really helpful to me at the time. I remember being treated really well, like an honored guest, even though the visit itself was sort of spontaneous (I think it was 5 days, and I slept on the couch). I really loved that visit, and Daniel was the best host I could imagine. I really enjoyed hanging with him and all his friends, and felt privileged to be his cousin!
One thing that was very consistent.. he was always thoughtful, and had my back... always trying to steer me in the right direction even if it was difficult for me, and he seemed to really genuinely care about my well being (which I felt was really unusual in the midst of this very “fly-by-night”, “live for today” attitude that everyone seemed to have out there).
I remember packing a lot into that short visit, and I remember how cool he was with any exploration and adventure, (as long as no one got hurt) even if it may have pushed the boundaries of what might have been acceptable in more conservative households. It was all just incredibly fun and exciting.
I don’t remember specific names, but I think I remember meeting a couple of Daniel's male friends, and I remember going to a club in an expensive Volvo sports car with them and his girlfriend (I don’t remember whether the car was his or whether he was leasing it). I unfortunately forget the name of the girl he was dating at the time, but I think she was not living in the house. I can definitely confirm that there were many girl housemates (I think 7 total) and they were mostly in their early 20s. He seemed really happy and living his dream, loving life and everything he was doing.
I was interested in meeting a girl who was living in San Diego.. which didn’t end well which had me feeling somewhat depressed about it, but afterwords, Daniel was extremely supportive and upbeat, and we had a long conversation on the porch of his house which was really helpful to me at the time. I remember being treated really well, like an honored guest, even though the visit itself was sort of spontaneous (I think it was 5 days, and I slept on the couch). I really loved that visit, and Daniel was the best host I could imagine. I really enjoyed hanging with him and all his friends, and felt privileged to be his cousin!
One thing that was very consistent.. he was always thoughtful, and had my back... always trying to steer me in the right direction even if it was difficult for me, and he seemed to really genuinely care about my well being (which I felt was really unusual in the midst of this very “fly-by-night”, “live for today” attitude that everyone seemed to have out there).
I remember packing a lot into that short visit, and I remember how cool he was with any exploration and adventure, (as long as no one got hurt) even if it may have pushed the boundaries of what might have been acceptable in more conservative households. It was all just incredibly fun and exciting.
I met Daniel when he lived with Elida in Lower Merion and I cleaned their home about 10 years ago or so. He was older than me, but not significantly. Occasionally people in my age range wouldn’t know how to address me since it’s a little unconventional to have a peer as a house keeper, but he engaged me in spirited conversation about topics from the many bands he listened to with an open ear and heart (talking about their musical talents and career highlights), to his educational plans, and passion for politics. He was interesting and intelligent and when it came to politics, it was a little over my head as were some of the places he’d traveled and his knowledge of obscure bands. So it was always enlightening to have a conversation with Daniel about anything at all, and his passion was contagious. He made me feel incredibly welcome in his home (as did Elida) and I enjoyed our talks those Saturday mornings. 🙂
Dan was such an important friend to me through my teenage years. So many of my best memories are dominated by his presence. Daniel's high energy, ready schemes and always-available shoulder helped shape me and that will never leave me.
Daniel was always my fill-in dance date. He was so fun. So funny. Everything was THE BEST IDEA EVER. He always had a plan. I can still hear his voice laying out his latest scheme, talking a 100 miles a minute. It was his train. We were all just riding.
Daniel was always my fill-in dance date. He was so fun. So funny. Everything was THE BEST IDEA EVER. He always had a plan. I can still hear his voice laying out his latest scheme, talking a 100 miles a minute. It was his train. We were all just riding.
Dan's passion for progressive politics and willingness to help truly inspired me. I met Dan shortly after the Obama campaign, when he was volunteering his time to help manage the data for our advocacy organization.
Dan spent countless hours getting our data and systems to a place where they could help all of the work we did be more effective. He was always so willing and happy to help. And he was brilliant.
Though we worked together remotely for most of the years before I moved to Philadelphia, I really got to spend the most time with him working on Mayor Kenney's campaign. Resources were limited, and Dan wanted to make Philadelphia a better place and dedicated so much time to helping the campaign out. We spent countless hours in the office's conference room, eating snacks, laughing and planning our field strategy.
After the election, Dan, Stephanie, and I would periodically grab lunch and catch up. We always had a great time. Dan was such a lovely person.
Dan spent countless hours getting our data and systems to a place where they could help all of the work we did be more effective. He was always so willing and happy to help. And he was brilliant.
Though we worked together remotely for most of the years before I moved to Philadelphia, I really got to spend the most time with him working on Mayor Kenney's campaign. Resources were limited, and Dan wanted to make Philadelphia a better place and dedicated so much time to helping the campaign out. We spent countless hours in the office's conference room, eating snacks, laughing and planning our field strategy.
After the election, Dan, Stephanie, and I would periodically grab lunch and catch up. We always had a great time. Dan was such a lovely person.
SPUN CHAIRS
Get-togethers with Dan always promised fun for my whole family - whether it was visiting him on Edgehill and building marble mazes, listening to jokes and matching his silly faces in our own backyard, or going to his apartment in King of Prussia. There, Dan's imagination brought everything to life, turning his apartment into a veritable amusement park! There was always swimming. There were gymnastics mats to tower and jump from. There was a zero gravity chair that tilted up-side-down for as long as a kid could take it.
Nothing was ever off limits in Dan's world and no one was ever saying "you've had enough". In a common area where his building held happy hours, there were spun chairs! Spun chairs are topsy-turvy stools that resemble large dreidels more than chairs. You get on top and spin around in dizzying, lopsided circles. For my girls who were ages 8 and 11 last summer, these were the big attraction of Dan's amusement park, especially because Dan would climb on and ride too.
As my girls had spring vacation last week, we checked out an armload of DVD's from the library that they watched next to me as I worked from home. Friday's feature was JoJo Siwa's "My World". (For context, JoJo Siwa is a pre-teen icon, singer, and dancer who wears enormous bows in her hair and her movie was a behind-the-concert-tour documentary.) In one scene, JoJo and her friends are spinning and laughing on spun chairs. Jumping up, my girls happily squealed, "we play on those chairs with Dan!!!" And I felt so happy as those memories came to mind and as I reassured myself that they remember our special friend in the best way possible - as vibrant, happy, and fun.
Get-togethers with Dan always promised fun for my whole family - whether it was visiting him on Edgehill and building marble mazes, listening to jokes and matching his silly faces in our own backyard, or going to his apartment in King of Prussia. There, Dan's imagination brought everything to life, turning his apartment into a veritable amusement park! There was always swimming. There were gymnastics mats to tower and jump from. There was a zero gravity chair that tilted up-side-down for as long as a kid could take it.
Nothing was ever off limits in Dan's world and no one was ever saying "you've had enough". In a common area where his building held happy hours, there were spun chairs! Spun chairs are topsy-turvy stools that resemble large dreidels more than chairs. You get on top and spin around in dizzying, lopsided circles. For my girls who were ages 8 and 11 last summer, these were the big attraction of Dan's amusement park, especially because Dan would climb on and ride too.
As my girls had spring vacation last week, we checked out an armload of DVD's from the library that they watched next to me as I worked from home. Friday's feature was JoJo Siwa's "My World". (For context, JoJo Siwa is a pre-teen icon, singer, and dancer who wears enormous bows in her hair and her movie was a behind-the-concert-tour documentary.) In one scene, JoJo and her friends are spinning and laughing on spun chairs. Jumping up, my girls happily squealed, "we play on those chairs with Dan!!!" And I felt so happy as those memories came to mind and as I reassured myself that they remember our special friend in the best way possible - as vibrant, happy, and fun.
Dan Kauffman was always the first one to take on a new adventure whether it was taking a spur of the moment road trip to Penn State at midnight or traveling 3000 miles to try a brand new career. The man was enterprising ambitious and audacious!
I first met Dan about three years ago when I joined Guiding Technologies as their development manager and senior developer. My first experience with Dan was when he tried to organize how I should do my software development. Dan journaled every new task in great detail, a process that worked well for him, but was too cumbersome for me, so we agreed to each build software using our own techniques. Over the years, Dan repeatedly tried to organize me, but I managed to defeat most of those attempts. This was always a friendly and cheerful dynamic. How could it be otherwise with Dan?
Dan was a brilliant and skilled developer, but he would never delete anything. What I do with my taxes, Dan did with his software, and he had endless versions dated back to the “beginning”. Dan was also unafraid to write a little extra code, sometimes measured in writing additional thousands of lines of code. The amazing thing was how quickly Dan could generate code to make enhancements, and how accurate and well tested his changes were. Since I have rarely seen this level of precision, I didn’t want to suggest changes to what was working well. For those of you who simply thought of Dan as a great “computer person”, he went well beyond that.
Dan almost always gracefully accepted “fixes” to his work. Some of these were labelled “bugs” and others “changes”, but generally Dan had documented his plan, or had discussed these so they were almost always the fact that one of us couldn’t keep up with the complexities that Dan encountered and solved mostly by himself. On occasion Dan would remind us that the 15th item of a specific AR in Assembla documented the “fix”, but Dan would more often cheerfully make the change, then append the update to the 15th item in the AR. Dan was always helping us.
One of the most fun times I had with Dan was when we had an opportunity to begin creating MCC2, a major modification to the existing software. Dan preferred face-to-face conversations, so we met half way at Dunkin Donuts for several design sessions. We normally spent endless hours on the phone or WebEx, so it was a treat to meet face-to-face for working sessions. (We also had monthly meetings in Philly, but most of these were too busy for in-depth design sessions). At any rate, we had a chance to talk non-work, but I never realized the extent of Dan’s network of friends and activities.
I thought it was really Kool to attend Dan’s graduation ceremony. The time and effort to complete a part-time undergraduate degree is enormous, so it was great to see him finally accomplish his goal. He was also one of the few graduates that already had a job lined up. We were all quite pleased when Dan decided to join Guiding Technologies full-time, and evidently this was rarer than I would have thought for Temple grads.
Overall, Dan was fun to work with. We spent huge amounts of time on the phone, mostly talking work, but occasionally Dan would provide me with a glimpse into his life. I wish I knew him better.
Dan was a brilliant and skilled developer, but he would never delete anything. What I do with my taxes, Dan did with his software, and he had endless versions dated back to the “beginning”. Dan was also unafraid to write a little extra code, sometimes measured in writing additional thousands of lines of code. The amazing thing was how quickly Dan could generate code to make enhancements, and how accurate and well tested his changes were. Since I have rarely seen this level of precision, I didn’t want to suggest changes to what was working well. For those of you who simply thought of Dan as a great “computer person”, he went well beyond that.
Dan almost always gracefully accepted “fixes” to his work. Some of these were labelled “bugs” and others “changes”, but generally Dan had documented his plan, or had discussed these so they were almost always the fact that one of us couldn’t keep up with the complexities that Dan encountered and solved mostly by himself. On occasion Dan would remind us that the 15th item of a specific AR in Assembla documented the “fix”, but Dan would more often cheerfully make the change, then append the update to the 15th item in the AR. Dan was always helping us.
One of the most fun times I had with Dan was when we had an opportunity to begin creating MCC2, a major modification to the existing software. Dan preferred face-to-face conversations, so we met half way at Dunkin Donuts for several design sessions. We normally spent endless hours on the phone or WebEx, so it was a treat to meet face-to-face for working sessions. (We also had monthly meetings in Philly, but most of these were too busy for in-depth design sessions). At any rate, we had a chance to talk non-work, but I never realized the extent of Dan’s network of friends and activities.
I thought it was really Kool to attend Dan’s graduation ceremony. The time and effort to complete a part-time undergraduate degree is enormous, so it was great to see him finally accomplish his goal. He was also one of the few graduates that already had a job lined up. We were all quite pleased when Dan decided to join Guiding Technologies full-time, and evidently this was rarer than I would have thought for Temple grads.
Overall, Dan was fun to work with. We spent huge amounts of time on the phone, mostly talking work, but occasionally Dan would provide me with a glimpse into his life. I wish I knew him better.
When you have an older cousin, you're bound to perceive them as cool. The thing with Daniel is: he genuinely was. This guy had an electronic drum set in his basement before I knew such things existed. He had more CDs than I'd ever seen. And I thought I had some expertise on pop music, but he seemed to know every band on the face of the earth - many of them personally.
On top of that, he had one of the quickest wits I'd ever encountered. I sat in awe of his rapid-fire banter at the Thanksgiving and Passover tables, thinking: how is he doing this? Is this scripted?
That's how I will remember him: hip and hilarious. I will miss him terribly.
On top of that, he had one of the quickest wits I'd ever encountered. I sat in awe of his rapid-fire banter at the Thanksgiving and Passover tables, thinking: how is he doing this? Is this scripted?
That's how I will remember him: hip and hilarious. I will miss him terribly.
It was back in 10th grade. Dan Friedman, Dan Kauffman and I all went on a venture. For what else, of course, to hang out with chicks.
Danny called me up one night and said that Friedman had access to his mom's car and we need to go get chicks. I was tasked with the job of finding, "said chicks" and making this meeting happen. I told Danny, "That's fine. Just come pick me up and we'll go hang out with a girl I know. I just have to figure out how to get to her house." This girl, Amy, used to dance ballet, hence, we called her "Amy, Dancer Chick". Back in 10th grade GPS wasn't as prevalent as it is today. We had to use MapQuest and good old-fashioned spoken directions. So, speaking with Amy, I received some directions, and MapQuest, just to be safe. So we ventured out on this journey. Friedman was driving, Danny was copilot and I was in the backseat. We followed MapQuest as best as we could and from there had to go on Amy's directions, most of which said, go right by the 35 mile an hour sign, bare right and two blocks down will be her house. Needless to say, we got incredibly lost. It took us three hours to find our way back to a road that we knew. We never ended up finding her house and to this day, every time we see a 35 mile an hour sign, we say, oh, we must be close to Amy, Dancer Chick's house!
Danny called me up one night and said that Friedman had access to his mom's car and we need to go get chicks. I was tasked with the job of finding, "said chicks" and making this meeting happen. I told Danny, "That's fine. Just come pick me up and we'll go hang out with a girl I know. I just have to figure out how to get to her house." This girl, Amy, used to dance ballet, hence, we called her "Amy, Dancer Chick". Back in 10th grade GPS wasn't as prevalent as it is today. We had to use MapQuest and good old-fashioned spoken directions. So, speaking with Amy, I received some directions, and MapQuest, just to be safe. So we ventured out on this journey. Friedman was driving, Danny was copilot and I was in the backseat. We followed MapQuest as best as we could and from there had to go on Amy's directions, most of which said, go right by the 35 mile an hour sign, bare right and two blocks down will be her house. Needless to say, we got incredibly lost. It took us three hours to find our way back to a road that we knew. We never ended up finding her house and to this day, every time we see a 35 mile an hour sign, we say, oh, we must be close to Amy, Dancer Chick's house!
Pearl Jam is my favorite band. Of course, Dan knew that. In 2001, when he was at the peak of his music career in California, he got us tickets to their ten year anniversary show in Las Vegas. It was impossibly sold out but using his DK magic and connections, he got us the tickets.
Now when I said it was for us, I mean, it was really for me. He wasn't that much of a fan. He then proceeded to buy a ticket to get me out to Las Vegas (he had all the money at the time) and made arrangements for us to stay at one of his fancy music industries friend's houses. The accommodations were as good as if I were a celebrity. We had awesome seats to the show, the best possible food and an amazing place to stay.
He was the best. He was magic.
Now when I said it was for us, I mean, it was really for me. He wasn't that much of a fan. He then proceeded to buy a ticket to get me out to Las Vegas (he had all the money at the time) and made arrangements for us to stay at one of his fancy music industries friend's houses. The accommodations were as good as if I were a celebrity. We had awesome seats to the show, the best possible food and an amazing place to stay.
He was the best. He was magic.