Daniel’s story would not be complete without remembering the girls who played significant roles in his life. They were often his best friends, particularly in his younger years. Daniel joked recently that he had such an interest in Broadway shows, and talking about ideas and feelings that he could have been a girl. In any case, he connected easily and frequently with girls through his journey.
Daniel’s first friend was Sara. Sara was seven months younger and they were together from the time she was born. They were like siblings, taking care of each other. Sara had beautiful dark eyes and a big laugh. They built forts and took swimming lessons together.
Daniel went to nursery school for a short time in Philadelphia. He met a little girl with long blonde hair named Annie and talked about her constantly. He couldn’t wait to get to school to see her. Annie usually got to school before Daniel and was already involved in an activity and often didn’t notice when Daniel arrived. Daniel tried to get her attention but rarely succeeded. I don’t know if he felt badly but I did.
At that time we were living in the Art Museum neighborhood. The houses were all row houses so you could hear what was going on with your neighbors. Daniel and the little girls next door, who were several years older than Daniel, loved to play together. The girls particularly loved to play house in their back yard. Upon occasion, I would hear Daniel crying. He complained to me that they wanted him to sit and wait for dinner to be served. Daniel wanted to help make it.
At the age of three, Daniel started at “The School in Rose Valley”. It was a two hour bus, train and van ride to get to school. Taking the same trip was Suzanne. She was in middle school. They loved each other. No train ride was boring; they had so much to talk about.
Daniel’s best friends in the nursery school were Chrissy and Ilana and occasionally Dawn. Chrissy was sweet, and was pretty much always willing to go along with Daniel’s planned adventures. Ilana was more like Daniel. They were both very verbal and strong willed and could get into long arguments about their activities. They were all inseparable: creating plays, doing gymnastics, going on adventures and exploring the acres of nature. There was no love affair but the relationships were intense for three years.
Daniel started at Friend’s Central in first grade and often went to extended day care when I was working. There he met Zoe when they were in a play together in which they were both statues. I don’t know how long they knew each other before I was told by Daniel, as well as a number of his friends, that Daniel and Zoe had gotten married with rings and a real ceremony. The marriage continued throughout first grade.
Over the next eight or so years at Friend’s Central I heard about a number of girls that Daniel was in love with. One very early morning, when Daniel was around the age of seven or eight, he woke me up to tell me that he thought he was in love. That may have been Lara. Then he was in love with Amy. After much thought about what to get her, Daniel asked me to take him to the mall and he bought her a thin real gold bracelet. She wisely said she couldn’t accept it. At a later time Daniel was in love with Hillary. There were continuous phone calls between them when we were on vacation. After Hillary came Evie. I think Daniel liked her for a long time. Some, but not all, of these relationships were reciprocated.
When Daniel was 14 I received a note from his science teacher. “Dear Mrs. Kauffman, I just wanted you to know that Dan did an excellent job on his science project. He received an “A” on his computer model of the earth. (And he got engaged).”
For high school Daniel went to Lower Merion where his interest in girls as friends and confidantes continued as well as his search for the girl that he could really care about and love. I will leave out details about later relationships but just say how much Daniel’s relationships with girls supported and gave meaning to his life.
Beautiful remembrance. I witnessed the elementary-school-aged love between Dan and Hillary. It was sweet.
Heather writes about dating Daniel throughout their high school years. I remember that Daniel wore my father’s tails to their prom (My father was a musician). Daniel had said that he wanted to go to the prom with a girl that he loved and he did. I, also, remember that Daniel named a star after Heather for her birthday. They went to the observatory to see it. Their relationship continued through the first year of college. Heather was the first time that I got to see what having a daughter-in-law would be like. Daniel, Heather and I did things together. We spent two days in N.Y. seeing Broadway shows. We also did things as a four-some with Heather’s mother Annette. Annette and I became good friends. Heather was really helpful and a wonderfully supportive girlfriend.
Daniel was probably around 20 or 21 when he met Sara Stern. I think they were together for about a year. What I remember from that time was how lovely Sara was but, also, how annoying the two of them could be. They laughed about everything. Years after that relationship ended, Daniel remembered Sara with great love.
I was at Trader Joe’s yesterday. All of a sudden the name Lasha came to mind. That was a name I had heard hundreds of times in Daniel’s early teenage years. I remembered that one time when Daniel and I were at Trader Joe’s, he had mentioned that Lasha worked there. I thought I would see if she was there, to tell her that Daniel had died. She was there and we talked for a few minutes. She told me that Daniel had taken her on her first date the summer after 6th grade. They had gone to a movie in King of Prussia. They had met at Launfal camp where they both had spent a lot of time with the horses. I don’t know any more about that summer but she did say they became friends again when he was living in Radnor and working in the music industry.
When Daniel liked someone I heard about them enough that 20, 30 or even 37 years later I still remember their names.
Two girls in one day. I ran into Sara yesterday, not the L.A. Sara but the N.Y. Sara. Daniel used to see her a lot when she was between boy friends. She was a good friend in high school though they went to different schools and they stayed friends for the next 10 or so years until she became engaged. Her comment to me was that Daniel used to always look after her. You would think that with all of the girls that liked Daniel including a number of them that have not yet been mentioned, that Daniel would have had more confidence. He was fine for the first year or two but then began to feel insecure in the relationship. For those few lucky girls, when Daniel was in love, he really was totally devoted to all those qualities that develop intimacy.