Daniel Jacob Kauffman

I would like to begin this with talking about how much Daniel loved his friends’ children. He was so impressed with the kindness and articulateness of Elliott and Benjamin. He came home amazed, quoting things they had said. He loved spending time with them and with Shelley’s and Geoff’s and Megan’s and Dan’s other children and was often the silly one in the group. On FaceTime he loved making silly faces. He loved what devoted and thoughtful parents they all were.

Daniel didn’t get to be a parent but I think he, also, would have been a fabulous one.  He was a loving and doting father to Webster, his rescue dog. Daniel and I had searched for a rescue dog for several years.  We had different ideas of what the perfect dog would be. I was looking for small and furry.  It was a surprise when I received a text from Daniel saying, “I think I’ve found my dog”. I was unhappy when I saw a picture of Webster, a pit-bull mix.  We arranged to meet after Daniel had signed the adoption papers at the pet store near my house.  Daniel said he was nervous taking on such a big responsibility and hadn’t really expected to find a dog that day.  When I first saw Webster (named after the street he had been found on) I  was  uncomfortable though I knew that I had no choice but to love him..  The next day I went to Daniel’s apartment to spend time with him and to get to know Webster.   I saw what Daniel had seen, that Webster was “nothing but love and fur”.  Daniel’s compassion and care for Webster was immediate and constant.  This was never more evident than when Webster had a toothache.

Daniel had so much dental surgery. Then it was time for Webster to have a tooth removed. Daniel put off the surgery, worrying about how Webster would deal with the pain. Webster was going to have to be sedated for the surgery. Daniel, thoughtfully, explained to Webster that he had been through it and it wasn’t so bad. Daniel did have tears in his eyes the morning he had to take Webster in for surgery. Webster was fine, though he did have to wear that silly neck piece for many weeks. Daniel bought a special velvet one for him thinking that the regular plastic one would irritate his skin. He placed pillows at different levels on the floor for Webster to accommodate his new neck piece. That was Daniel, as Dad to Webster. He promised never to leave him, feeling badly that Webster had been abandoned before.

Daniel was also dad to any mouse or bug that wondered into the house at Edgehill Rd. As I considered all the ways to get rid of our unwanted visitors, Daniel named them and talked about them as if we’d had a previous relationship with them.  He would tell me how cute they were and that they just wanted to live. We can’t hurt our friend “Harry” or “George” or… He reminded me of adorable mice we had read about in stories. He asked me if the mouse was an African mouse or a Norwegian mouse. He was usually able to catch it and take it outside to freedom.  We continued to disagree about this.  But I recognized and appreciated Daniel’s belief that all life was valuable.